Heh! Went to eat seafood yesterday. I was so lucky that I still made it when I rushed back to Sbw after choir.

We chose our own seafood and we saw the USA conch! The one me and my cousin saw on AXN Channel[I think]. Yummy! Ate a raw oyster! Some sort of ate the conch raw too. Hmm. There was the duck's tongue. I wanted to try but when I took it up, it so happened that the upper side of the tongue was facing me. Erm... I thought it was too horrifying and so I gave it a miss. Then came the different sea creatures. There was erm.. the drunken prawns, some look like elephant trunk clam. Hah. And the best has yet to come...

There comes two crabs, one with black pepper, the other with salted egg. And the $200 Lobster! Oh man. The lobster was HUGE! I think one of the pincers is alittle bigger than my palm. LOL. But ate alot ar. And somehow found the difference in crabs and lobsters. Used to think that they tasted the same =)). Thank you my Ah yi-s =D!

So came back like 11++ pm and did homework until 12++am. Tiring.

Today was tiring but great as well. No punishment from SW as it was raining and Mr Lim came and let up go. I simply luRve him! LOL. Drama was okae. Tried to practise with some props that the cher brought. Hah. We tied the scarf around our foreheads and said that we're from a gang. We as in me and siao char bo Stel. LOL. Fine!

Went out just now to Causeway to buy present Bamboo N. LOL. Wanted to change his style so bought him a Bilabong shirt. LOL. When STel and I were at the Civic's bought the same watch with Stel. $5 each! And they're in pink! And speaking about pink, I wore a pink shirt and white skirt while she wore a white shirt and pink skirt. Hehe. We planned it la. Then it was so miserable that we rushed so much and skipped our proper dinner. But in the end we still like waited half an hour for Zong Qin to appear. Others were late as well. All except xd!!!! LOL. Of course la, my xd ma! Bought present then went to the arcade. Stel and I spent $7 trying to catch a toy. I wanted a Minnie Mouse. =( Hehe. Then we played shooting as in basketball and some table thingy.

When they were all gone, Stel, Valerie and I saw Zong Qin played some shooting game. Man, he was pro! LOL. Okae la. Then we all went to meet each other at the first floor. I realised that the present was no longer in Jia Jun's hand la. So I was like where is the present? And we ran all the way up again to Timezone and found it with the workers at the counter. Phew. Thank goodness it wasn't lost or else Jia Jun would have been dead. Okae la. I think it's about all. I wanna sleep! =))

Losing grip.

Why?

Hah. Nice day. Went Burger King after training with Sia and Jer + all the training members la.

Erm gave Nna that big banana. Haha. It was like the first time after so long that I saw Jer smile so much la. Kinda relieved that his mood swing days are over. Had quite a meal la. First time ate fast food two days in a row when I'm sick. LOL. It was kinda fun la all the jokes and stuff. And it was great to see sia again. Hung out there for quite sometime then went home by train just to take with Jer to Paya Lebar. Well, he was kinda funny today. Not that dao anymore.

Was thinking abit on the train ride. I'd forgotten what I had thought la. But kinda realised that if he didn't step into my life I guess I wouldn't have made such a big step in my standard. But I had to work on. Alone.

Seriously. I think it might be my personality or character. I cannot stand irritating people. Erm. People trying to irritate to get attention. And people who thinks that they are above some other people just because that particular person had not been very well-liked before. And also friends who keeps their negative feelings about other close friends just because they're scared that they'll be out of the so-called "group of friends". I think it's ridiculous. If it's that way, it isn't real friendship at all. True friendships can endure break throughs but doesn't break off that easily. This actually happened to me once. I found out that one of my good friends bad-mouthed me. I pluck up my courage and talked to her about it. And we're still great friends now. I guess that's called true friendship. There is no wrong in bad mouthing people. You have all the rights to post your views. It's all up to the amount of strength your friendship can hold. That's what I think la.

I think people who act who they are not in front of their friends, are not trusting their friends at all. If they think that actions and appearance is everything, they're wrong. Everyone is equal in a group of friends. There is no so-called leader. If they think that there's one then I think they don't even know what friendship is.

Stel. Told you to stop me before I said anything silly right?

Hehe. Okae la. I think I'd better not go on. It's not as if I freaking care [ALOT] =P. So I'll just shut my mouth now la.

Happy Birthday Weiling!! Stay cool~ Muackz =).

"I realised. I was the one who wanted to keep him. I didn't want him to leave."

Not again. =((. I hate to double post. But...

Had just started practising again. I then noticed that. It would be THAT hard to forget him. I realised that I'd think of him whenever I start jumping. I don't know. I'd remember allthe things he said, all the sweet little things he had done and all the things he did to irritate me. All the motivation and encouragement I got seem to rush back to me all over again. And I feel so.. sufforcated. Knwoing that they wouldn't happen anymore. I mean. Wth's wrong with me?

THIS, is supposed to be as easy to get over with like the others. So where am I heading to?

nowhere, I supposed.

Sigh. Guess it wouldn't be as easy as I thought. But what's called moving on and letting go without any challenge?

I know. I'm contradicting myself again.

I've always been a very contradicting person. And that's not gonna change. LOL. XD.

How can I even be in the mood to joke now?

seriously, I don't know. don't wanna know and will never know.

LOL.

I suddenly thought again.

As if seeing him every sunday was "理所当然" [a matter of fact]. But I remembered. I realised that it's not gonna happen anymore. Then, I felt alittle down for that few moments before I got on again. I knew it was going to happen la. So.. didn't mattered.

Felt better today. Recovering. Hope I can go for training tomorrow. I miss skipping. I haven't been practising since Wednesday la. God knows how much I've been missing it lor.

Didn't watch movie yesterday. Felt too sick after playing the sims for so long. Wasted. And my piano teacher is back. Not that I've not been practising. Just that I've not been practising what she wanted me to. XD.

Happy birthday nna!!

Pigging at home now as for normal, with lots of work undone. God knows how long I'll survive.

I'm not afraid. Because I know you're there.

Even if you're gone.

Damn. I'm sick.

=( Didn't go to school today. My attendance rate is "deteriorating". But I luRve it. LOL. I had flu okae. I think it's thanks to Stel and that bar of Toblerone we shared. Only this morning then she told me she was sick. Damned you Stel! But I'm still happy that I missed school... erm... so thanks la... LOL. Nevermind. Spent the whole day pigging at home. I couldn't sleep but my head felt heavy so I was like lying around the whole morning and half of the afternoon until went to the doc's with my mommy and then came to Ah Yin jie jie's hse =). Played Sims for like the whole evening until now la. I think my condition's gonna get worse.

Because I don't plan to sleep early tonight.

LOL. Missed choir =(. Haiz.

Wasn't thinking very much today. And not thinking very much anymore. But happened to dream about something in relation of the things I heard yesterday. Weird. Sigh. Training on Sunday. Later he nag and nag and nag again. =(. Sleeeeepy now. Head heavier than ever. But I wanna watch DVD! I suddenly have the urge to cry la. So I wanna watch touching DVD. But judging by how terrible I already feel now, I think crying will make me feel even more lethagic.

But I still wanna cry anyway.

=(. I wanna talk to Stel. Find out what kind of explosivs she ate today. I wanna try too! =X.

sorrrrrrryyyyyyy jeremmmmyyyyyy ddn't mean to make you terrible. I'm just a busybody. XD.

I miss that smile =(.

Went to Science centre. On the way shared a melted toblerone. Yuks. I know. LOL.

Life without night training is actually good! LOL. But received a erm. Frightening news. LoL. Not exactly frightening but kinda saddened. I don't know la.

When we boarded the bus to go, I was so pissed la. Not like I give a big damn. But it's just disturbing. Sat quietly until we reached there. Then looked at some of the exhibits. Sian. While waiting for the bus back, I was "zi-lian-ing" again. Kept taking photos with Stel. On the bus, Mr N told lame jokes Stel and I were engrossed in reading horoscopes. They were quite true. LOL. Okae la.

Jeremy ang. My TWO answers. And although it's saddening, we're not god damned sad okae. Just a tiny-weeny bit. LOL.

I'll give support in whatever you choose.
Missing you.

It was the performance today. Kind of got some grief going over me. Having a contradiction is the worse thing that can happen now.

Performance was still OKAE. Nice. And then got nagged at abit la. Ah well. Sian. Going Science Centre tmr. And with Mr N. =(.

Had dinner at Long John's with Nna, Kathleen and Junxiang. Laughing all the way. And I realised that half of me was still at the spot while the other half was already out to explore. Which was pretty good afterall. At least I don't stuck myself there anymore. On the way back was quite funny too. I'm starting to loosen my grasp I guess.

Everyday trainings came to an end. Not gonna stay up for late nights anymore. No more sleepy mornings. But I feel kind of burdened now. LoL. I don't exactly know why.

She said, you either be brave for that only moment or die wondering. I preferred to be brave but it was just so... erm... i don't know. She also said that you often neglect yourself in these situations. And that "it's his loss not yours". I don't really know what I want now. Maybe it should stay this way. Whatever answer it might be.

我想我是太过依赖 在挂电话的刚才
坚持学单纯的小孩 静静看守这份爱
知道不能太依赖 怕你会把我宠坏
你的香味一直徘徊 我舍不得离开

Tired. And. I forgotten what I wanted to write a moment ago.

Oh yeah. Drama today. Bored. About 5++ then reached SP. Then hung out with Cia, JL, and wis. Hah. Finally got time to hang out with them again. I missed them =). LOL. Bad day. Erm, no. Good day. Erm... no la. In the middle.

Training at 8. Wasn't early today hah. Did ending pose. And practised dd. Wasn't really not in the mood nor in the mood. Tmr's the show. Oh man. So fast. Well, what can I say? Art not done, haven't studied chinese and geography test. How bad can it get? It's not THAT bad anyway la. Not like I'm the only one like that... right Stel? LOL. Fine.

jeremy ang. you do owe me TWO answers now. Because I said so. XD

I think I've tried too hard. It got me back to where it started again today. It just some kind of flashback or something. But I guess it all happened too fast. Much faster than I can absorb. I don't know if acions are misleading. But it seemed to totally fit the facts. It all just changed instantly that I don't even know if there was really a change at all. Liking another individual should be a happy thing. But now. I don't even know if I have enough courage to continue liking him. Maybe I was foolish. Maybe I had tried alittle too hard.

But still. I know, I like him.

Argh! Thought training was at 7 and sat at the interchange reading my book for like an hour before Sarah came. Ah well. Training is tiring today. Shan't elaborate.

On the way home thought a little. Realised that I knew way too much than what I'm supposed to know. And that is, SAD. Seriously, knowing nothing might be better. It stops you from imagining all kinds of things. Hah. But knowing lets you know when to stop. And I think I know when I should get down the "car" from the journey.

Knowing too many things also wastes your brain usage on silly things. But it just so happens that I know too much ar. And somehow, decided to open myself up. It's just the mindset I guess.

I just hope that someone can just tell me what's happening, frankly.

and Jeremy Ang, you owe me an answer. LOL.

It's the truth that lies.

Yes!

Thought it through already!

No point making myself miserable anymore.

If only I have thought of this ealier.

我只想做你的朋友， 什么都能说的好朋友。

=).

Until the day we are ready for anything else.

I was badly struck today. I was totally broken. But I decided to move on. It is pointless to go on la. LOL.

Okae, let me talk about yesterday. The carnival was... erm. I didn't know how to describe it. Pathetic. =X. Okae la at least we had fun trying to throw water sponges at Jer's face. He stood behind those type of cardboard which only shows his face la... LOL. I striked at the last try. Then me and Sarah played bonding game. After that we left our footprints on a piece of cloth is which said to try to break the World Record but I think it wouldn't la. Hah. Then hung round at cine until Jer was ready to go. And on the train, crazy Sarah asked me if I think Jer likes me. LOL. I was like laughing the hell out. But I said no anyways. Then she asked me if I like "Red" [if you know what I meant]. LOL. I told her I liked pink. Then she said it was also part of red. Nonsense. But it did bring on lots of laughters. Finally, we reached the interchange. I was badly shocked when I heard Kathleen say something. I was like clutching onto Sarah's arm. But she clarified that it wasn't true la.

Training was quite different. Junxiang didn't come and we did the double dutch freestyle with Yun Han. LOL. Then at one point I was trying my triples and I keep banging the floor loudly la. Then that stupid Jeremy go and imitate me. LoL. Went quite well afterall. And took 859 home with Sarah only.

Today's training was okae la. Don't feel like talking about it. Just kind of thinking of stupid things and erm... thinking about how soon Wednesday is coming. Couldn't sleep and didn't sleep well last night. Very tiring day. Realised lots of things today. And maybe I'm ready to move on. Get a life and everything. Leaving that little space there might just do everyone good. =)

I need someone there. To talk to me. Someone I can trust and rely on.

"I'll do anything for your happiness. Even if it meant losing you."

Went to the crematorium just now to pay respects to my late grandpa[Father's side]. I looked at his photo. He died when I was one. I can't remember a single thing about him. Even his photo doesn't look familiar to me.

While mommy was setting the things up, I sat there in front of the little block. I suddenly cried for no reason. Seriously I don't know why I did. Maybe I just thought about the feeling of losing a kin. Then we burnt the incense papers, it rained but we finished anyway. Went back home.

Going carnival at orchard later, just to support Jer. Then going training from there with Kathleen, Sarah and him. Wasting my time slacking off now then homework will be undone, and tests unstudied. Does it matter at all?

Suddenly thought of the IOC thingy. All the things that happened. All the things that I thought I wanted to tell him but know I couldn't. Thinking that I might actually be the third wheel. Which may seem true to many around me. Maybe I don't mean as much to him as he is to me. Doesn't matter. It's not about who I am to him but who he is to me. AH whatever. It's not gonna help anyway. I feel so helpless. Wednesday is coming. IT IS COMING. Oh freak.

Jealous. So what?!

Had a hard day. Tiring.

Had choir which was great as usual. Then went for training. Was an hour late. Nevermind. Went and just got task. Training was like usual today. But less sweat. And being moody from yesterday didn't help at all.

Was struck again. Stupid thoughts.

Things might be what they seem and might not be. I think I'm the mistake. I'm foolish. I was the one going all wrong. Not anyone else. I was the one who overreacted. And the thing is, I had no rights. Yes I know. If I continue blabbering about these things, I may just kill myself for nothing. But I don't give a damn. Not anymore.

I think I need more work on my skills. Work hard. Just need to.

Oh yeah... brings me back to what Kathleen said. It made alot of sense to me. And it's just like I'm gonna believe what she said. Hah. I mean I had already believed what she said. It did mattered to me. But still... =) It's okae la. I can take it. I'm strong. And I grow stronger everyday.

Smiles again. I believe in you.

=). Being thinking quite alot today again. Hah. Tiring day. Almost slept during Science as usual, the rest of the day was quite well la. Didn't have Li Jia's twin's lesson. =P.

Let me talk about yesterday first okae? LOL. Hah. Took 969 then got off from 38 just behind Nna's 39. Chased her like crazy, erm not so la. Then we finally met at the staircase. We started training lor. Tried my triples hard. I thnk I'm getting it already. But need rhythm practice =). Okae then Junxiang came. And we did double dutch until Jer came. Then I rested while they do it. Then Sarah, Fion and Kathleen came. So once again we were split into our groups la. Roger came soon after. Made us practise triples and freestyle. Jer was helping me. And I think it did help. Erm. Like, when I wanna jump le then this image of him doing his triples come to my mind la. Cause yesterday watched him did alot so can like visualize it already.

Then it was back to double dutch la. LOL. Come about 8.30, my brain like totally shut down then everything I also blur blur liao. Hehe. Practised until we went home lor. Shan't go on the part about going home. Just that when we're on 859 without Nna, they were talking about Junxiang and Jer again. Together. Keep comparing. LOL. I am sick of it, why must they always make comparison in the two? LoL. They also said that that day when the two did freestyle together, Jer looked at Junxiang too much so he tripped alot. Maybe. But I think they're quite about the same. Kathleen said that Jer was stronger. Hah. To me, Jer has the techniques and Junxiang is hardworking. That doesn't make differences right? Whatever.

Today, thought quite alot. I'm just thinking what will happen if he's not there anymore. I know it's gonna happen. Then after awhile, my feelings may just disappear and then that'll be the end of our story, full stop. Feelings do change right? And at the end of it you'd have to start again, like a cycle. So is it worth all the perservering? Is it worth it?

You do so many things to try to keep it but when you finally lose it one day, it'll all become nothing but memories unless you and the other party can last forever which is... impossible. I mean. nothing lasts forever right? So is it all worth it? At all?

Hah. Just some of my thoughts. I wasn't disturbed by it la. Just thinking.

I wouldn't be afraid. Because I know you're around.

I'm happy~ LOL. Now I'm the happy birdy, Stel. Hah. Wanted to share wad I thought was good news with some people who happened to not pick up the phone. LOL. So forget it la. I'm not so all excited anymore anyway.

Just got news yesterday that gonna have training everyday from tomorrow night onwards until 24th August. I was neither happy nor sad. Firstly because I think I'm already in luRve with this sport. Erm.. and secondly, I wasn't happy because I think I'll become a walking zombie after that again. LOL. Nevermind. I'm being and undead right now anyway. The occupation that I can never give up. Hah.

Yay! No reading period for me tomorrow!!! Going running track and slack again. And I hope Mrs N wouldn't come to school even though I look so forward to that video she needs to finish showing us. Just don't have the feeling of seeing her or hearing her voice. If she doesn't come then more free periods for us =P.

Hehe. Wasn't all that distracted today. You know why? Because I only had two lessons and that is Geog. and Science. Hah. Other times I was either sleeping or finishing drawing my T-shirt. Blame that to Li Jia's "Twin". LOL. And have to make some freaking card for our primary school's principal and vice. Waste time. Wonder this year got Mid-Autumn Celeb anot. Miss my friends =/. TIRED!!! And I still got tons of work to do. I think I've either missed Mid-Autumn or I will miss it. Oh man. I hate missing things.

Hmm. Erm. I think I'm getting on the mulekick trend. Just that I don't dare to kick up when coming down. I'm scared to fall =/. LOL. I'm a scaredy cat. Hah! Then I think I got the technique for triples already? I don't know if it was just my hair that was in the way la. But still...

Shoot! I forgotten all about the Chinese Oral tomorrow. I might as well go and die =((. Nevermind la. I think. It'll be alright. Heh. Wondering whether or not to go Stel's house tomorrow. There got 969!! LOL. Fine. I'm abit haywired. And art. I haven't did a single thing about art. And project work also. Stressed! LOL.

And thanks to Hy for enduring all my "go-and-die"s I was too high yesterday =P.

Not letting go. Not giving up. But you're not gonna get to me.

Sigh. Was alittle disappointed la. I thought I had gotten the techniques yesterday but couldn' do it when I tried it just now. Wonder if it was the problem with my hair or my techniques. Argh!~

And Science for today is totally BORING. And as usual, erm. I just scribbled nonsense in my notebook again. Bad habit. LOL. And seriously, it doesn't help in keeping my mind in the classroom. Instead, it lets it fly higher and further away. Bleah. Why am I even talking about these things here? LOL. Haiz. My windows explorer has error again. Damn and I can't play the sims 2. I'm so fed up. And there's so much work to be done too. It's Monday!!! Sigh.

Choir today was as usual good. Lower Sec Choir only. I guess we're quite okae la. Gonna have concert tix to sell. Should be getting them next week. Hah. Seriously, I think people who are going will see me in the green alien gown[like Tian Wei said]. =/

Training on Wednesday. Sigh. I wanna get my triples. I NEED to. =/ I'm starting to feel alittle discouraged. Oh man. I can't. The little bits of motivation and encouragement must stay. Without out them. I think, I wouldn't even be bothered to train. But I seriously believe that it's my passion to jump ar. I think. I think it's gotten into me. =).

It's so sickening. I hate to think about him. And it's seriously getting harder to. Nevermind la. I'm always feeling messy. LOL. Sometimes I take his words for real. But I got doubts too ar. I'm also human, with lots and lots of imagination you see. =P.

"Get out of my mind!"
**It's my mind. Not your land.

Woot. Jer is back =D. He's seems to be stronger this time, my "Lao Da" ma, of course strong la. LOL. He can do mule kicks! Which surprised me abit la =X. Fine.

Had another great day. Powers moves as usual. At least now I'm more sure about my mule kicks. LOL. Then I still need to get my triples like always. Roger said it was because my mindset is like "I cannot do it." that's why I couldn't do it. I don't know if it's right or wrong ar. Coach made Junxiang and Jer jump individual at the same time. It was nice la. No other comments.

Shall work really hard. 24th August is the show. I hope I'll be able to do my triples by then.

I was so nervous yesterday. LOL. Really I couldn't sleep. Finally slept at 12++ then woke up very early today. Went very early ar. Reached about 10.30am. Sat there alone and read D&T Textbook. Train of things happened then Amy ran in and "announced" that he was here. Erm... I was still nervous la. Until training started then I felt better. Seriously, I think... erm... nevermind.

As usual, starting to think alot again. It always happens when Monday comes. LoL. Guess shall have to bear with it. Afterall, as long as I know that... erm... nevermind. Heh.

I realised something. That, if I don't cheer a person on, I actually trust/believe alot in that person. Like believing that he/she'll do it. Not that the I don't believe in the party I cheer on la. Just that I feel confident that he/she will make it. Hehe.

Seriously, I'm starting to worry about split trainings. =(. I don't want trainings to split! What'll happen when that happens? =/.

What next?

=/. Been thinking if I'm working hard enough. I feel so erm. Unskilled? LOL. I AM unskillful la. But it's really hard work ar. Seriously, I have doubts about making it. Training tomorrow. Jer finally coming. LoL, it's been a month since I saw him, he said. Wonder what we'll do tmr.

I think I'm not gonna get my homework done today. I tried okae? I did Chinese. But Literature just gets too boring and Geography doesn't need to be handed in on Monday. XD, excuses. Well, no choice. I'm born a "nothing-better-than-excuses" person. LOL.

Feeling that I hadn't wasted my day using the com. Hah. That's just because I can't use it for some reasons. Practised and did some hw. Feeling great now. Hah. And my Mommy bought new bedsheet for me!! It's all in PINK!!! LOL. Hmm... at least I stopped wondering alot today. Kept myself busy =D.

A change?

My day yesterday, was pretty well la. Choir practice rox!! Then didn't have to go for assembly.

But one horrible thing happened. Some big mouth went to accuse our teacher for "eating" our money. WTF. It's so unfair to the teacher lor! She does so many things for us and get accused. Could see that she was at the verge of crying yesterday. Good for the student that he didn't got DC or suspension. If I were the teacher I would have sent him immediately. Irritating. Tsk.

Seriously thinking, I realised that I had not all been independent except staying home alone and taking care of myself, that is. And I think I shouldn't depend too much on anyone. Because, when the person leave, I'll be dead. LOL. Sort of reminds me of the song "Ni Ting De Dao" by Jay Chou from this topic yesterday. Hah. My Mommy's finally back.

Supposed to finish my homework by today, that is, if it's possible, which is not quite gonna happen. Then after finishing my work, I'll have to try to get the triples and mule kick as well as invent a starting XD. I wonder if I'll ever get that done. Heh. And I think I seriously need to practise on my keyboard. =/ I don't have a time plan la. Even if I have one I won't be able to follow it =P.

Stella Song! You better print out that cover page. Before you die.

Nervously struck.

ARGH!

I can't concentrate! I miss him. I really wonder what will happen if our training splits again. Will everything be the same? Should I let go? Somehow I think I burden him alot. Like I know he's busy. Very. And I still sort of talk to him and all, like wasting his time. When I know that studies are piority to him. He needs it to pursue his passion for the sports he likes? I can't let my selfishness affect his way to his passion right? It's so unfair to him.

Aiya... I don't know la.

Went to Stel's house, on the way to her house met coach. He must be thinking how I got with this crazy girl =P. Okae, nevermind. Shoot. I'm slacking. Alot. I've not been doing my work properly la. Sigh. Then it's as if the world turns faster nowadays. Oh man. My last chinese test got me 65. Nice one. And the thing is, my new semester resolution seemed to have died. I'm still slacking like nothing had happened. I don't know what's wrong la. Just wait till exams la. I guess it'll be the same then. Heh. And another bad thing is, I've not been practising piano too =(. Damned. And now I wonder when Sister Maris will be back =/. I'm in dead meat XD.

Understood.

Back from training. Tired. Aches and cramps here and there.

Reached alittle past 9. Bodysculp in the studio, sitting outside was Junxiang and I think one of the daughters or something. Sat on another bench then saw Amy sweeping the floor. Cute =). Then she swept to the door, opened it and wanted to sweep it out. LOL. And the door closed before she could. So cute!! Then I wanted to help her ar. But Junxiang opened it for her. LoL.

Did the three ppl senior team double dutch with Rachel. Wanted to try the rope swing after that but she felt sick so there was no jumper. I threw the rope while he swung it then I caught it back la. Practised afew times then changed position. Then Sarah came. =). She was made to jump in this "dangerous" skill =P. It was okae la actually. Then we tried new positions and then he was made to switch with me while I throw the other rope ar. The first time we tried was... Oh man he didn't duck and it was like "bam!" and my arm smacked his head. I was like, is he alright? But Sarah told me he was laughing la. So I guess he's alright. Other times were okae la. But I feel so guilty anyways =(. =P. And then, coach made me jump over him. I was so scared. LOL. More like afraid that I'll kill him or something. I was scared that I would hit his head. =/ Which I think I did, for once then other times was either cleared, or I hit his arms. But nevertheless, still had a great time.

We were all laughing when coach got hit for like three times when we did the rope swing. And then after that he found a safe spot. Heh. After that, we practised triples and freestyle. Oh man.. Still can't do triples. Don't know what's wrong. Sigh. Then practised freestyle. Asked him to show me the split skill he mentions before and he said he forgotten. But he did it afterall. -_-". Okae. Then chatted with Sarah all the way home [contents are confidential. LOL]. Did quite alot of thinking about what Sarah said maybe it was right? LoL. Nevermind.

Sigh. Tmr need to go to school le. So fast... =(. And tmr got art! Bleah. I don't like the teacher. Yawn... Sleeeeeeeeeeeeepy... =).

Don't want September to come. Who would I be without you?

Wtf's wrong with me? Instead of feeling relieved , like more relaxed or even more motivated, I was feeling more pressured. What's wrong? I don't know. Suddenly, I was there, on my bed, feeling so pressed up. I flinched at the thoughts of the World's. Truly, I'm very disppointed with myself. What the hack is wrong with my arms and my jumping?

"Don't wanna go, don't waste my time." he said. If I haven't wanted to go, why would I even waste my own time? I mean not that I was hard on that sentence or something. I'm just reflecting on myself. Why should I ever go if I know I won't be able to make it? Why waste my own time?

If I give up now, won't it be losing before I even compete? But I tried my best. No one can blame me if I can't make it WHEN I did my best. Now I'm having doubts if I'm even trying my best.

I believe, that no one can help me except for myself. Is that it? Why is life surrounded by frustrations? Why can't I lead a simple life? Why is it that there must be competition between individuals? Must we always compete to find out who's the best?

I believe, life is not about competing with others, but about competing with one self. Competing with your personal best. Everyone has mistaken it.

I feel so... broken. Years ago, I told bRo, "No one understands me." And true enough no one did. Not even myself. I always have to ask myself why I feel the way I feel. But over the time, I finally realised, that at most times, the mind wants to take over the heart and think for it or even lead the soul for it. Should that be the way things work?

Seriously, I'm always thinking about giving up. But my heart always kept me going. For I don't wanna be looked upon lightly.

I always let my mind take over me when I'm angry. I vent my frustrations on anyone. I go out of control. But after the whole thing, I regret doing those. "How could I ever have the heart to do that?".

Does it even matter? Does it even matter if I make it or not? Does it even matter if I make it big or not? I don't know. Does anything matter at the end?

Holding on? No. Letting nature take its course.

Damn. I think I'm addicted. Dreamt about someone I shouldn't be. And thinking like always.

Elizabeth Choy came to our school yesterday. Oh man. I luRve her. She's so nice. It was scary, to have heard that they were locked in a cell, about 15-20 ppl in a 4m by 5m cell. Not for a day. But for 193 days! I think I'd never have survived that. They were not allowed to talk, to bathe or eat. They can't even visit the toilet. She was even electrocuted before. But strong as she was, she survived because she believed in god and talked to god everyday. That was what she said ar. I really admire her. =)

Stayed over at Ah Yin Jie Jie's house yesterday =). Played Sims 2 University until 1:44 am then slept. And then had that dream. Did I think too much and ended up even dreaming? It wasn't a nightmare la. But everything was kinda scary. Brrr. Better not think about it.

I'm lonely =(. It's National Day. It's holiday. But why am I stuck and home? ALONE? I'm so damned pissed off. Holiday and yet I'm at home, alone. I don't even know if I should cry or cheer. LOL. Sigh. But... actually, I'm only making a big fuss out of it la. Doesn't really matter. Used to it =). Besides, I can concentrate better on training I guess.

Sigh. When will I ever get my triples? What the hell is wrong with my wrists? Bleah. I choose not to think. Trying to get the mulekick now. But somehow I'm scared that I'll fall. So... erm... hehe...

These days, I feel as if drifting further and further away from people whom once are quite important to me I guess. Not that they are not important anymore. Just that, they are busy enough ar. Like bRo. LOL. He said he isn't busy but I don't get to speak alot to him anymore anyways. Ah. And my beloved Joy!! Sigh. Her BD present's still with me. Lewis? Erm.. and maybe Wenxin? People whom I once shared the darkest secrets with? I don't know. But I don't like the drifting apart idea. To think that 6 years in the Primary school ended so quickly. They are just like pieces of puzzles completing me =). Hehe.

Wenxin you still owe me an answer.

Missing that smile.

Went to the shop ytd. My main motive wasn't to accompany my sister la. I wanted to get pencil case and bag. LOL. But in the end didn't go shopping at all. Just saw the pencil case I wanted on the way to the shop la. Then at the end of the day went to shop for bag with sis. I was like so bored in the shop lor. Then got a phonecall. Was kind of elated? I think a little nervous too. But it went alright ar. Then my battery went flat. Nice one, battery. I wonder if it'll be like that time that Pasir Ris to Sembawang phonecall. Once in a lifetime, I call it. Erm actually not once in a lifetime ar. Fine. I don't know what I'm talking about. But please don't sue me. XD.

=D. Had a great day out today. At the studio, to the arcade and then the basketball court!

It was fun at the studio. I don't know but suddenly I'm all in for the power moves. LOL. My happiest thing that happen was that Roger didn't know I could do the split jump. He wouldn't know la ['Cause I just mastered it a few days ago =X =P]. Okae I think that's encouragement. I'll work on the push up and mule kicks for this week. Ahh! And my triples. Kinda fed up la. Don't know what's wrong with my wrists. But ar. I think. I'll still try harder. Then after the whole thing, Junxiang showed me the skill and then I jumped pair with Fion. I'm determined to go for the World Championship I think. But this fear is creeping up on me. Like I'm scared that I'll get too nervous and forget about everything just like in the Asian's. But that's not the point. The point is, can I even cross my own line and be good enough to go to the World's? I'm scared. What if I don't make it? Haiz. No point thinking about this now. Just train hard will do I guess.

Kathleen sort of dragged Junxiang all the way here to Sembawang. And yes, we went to the arcade. Played DDR again after so long. Didn't really have the energy la. Wasn't that ON after training I guess. Oh yeah. I think I forgot to mention that Stella the GREAT [if you understand what I mean] called me [And Stel, what ever you say, I'll still stay in the "single but unavaliable" catagory] when I was going to doze off on Bus 39. Distruptive. Tsk. LOL. Okae I didn't mean anything. Just felt kinda disturbing when she talked about a particular thing. Nevermind. Kathleen and Sarah played Para, too bad Junxiang didn't play. Watched ppl play the Initial D car racing. Oh man, got those type of flying feeling la. Maybe that's why I like car racing. Then played Rock Fever, which I didn't play for a long while too. It was still early and we went to basketball court at 357, I think.

And guess who we saw there? Sarah's *aherm*... Hehe. So borrowed ball and played there. At first was Me, Sarah and Fion one team, Kathleen and Junxiang another then Fion went into their team la. Was fun but exhausting. So played the don't know what with Junxiang and it's like when I have't even move to the third pointer he has finished. Fine, I'm not that good at basketball. I still like soccer =). Sat down at the side as Sarah and Kathleen went to get drinks. They went for very long ar. In the meantime I studied abit of D&T =D. I'm not a bookworm. I'm just making use of my time. They came back with a can of Justea and two cans of Ice Lemon tea la. Snatched Justea from Junxiang. Of course I won =P. Okae okae. And after that when we walked back to the MRT station then to Sun Plaza, as for normal Kathleen was "clinging" onto Junxiang la. Erm.. no comments... LoL.

We parted and then Sarah was walking home with me. I told her it's "xin ku" to aherm... And she told me some things also ar. Realised that it's quite true . Talked abit more and her mother call I think. Then we didn't have the time to talk anymore. So came up here la. Now feeling very very very tired. D&T how? Hack care. LOL. Later then study =P. Tmr Elizabeth Choy's coming to our sch. Somehow I'm interested. Heh. I'm bored and hungry and tired now.

Confidence. The keyword to bring on the best.

Don't wanna be tied down anymore. Let me soar.

I'm working hard on my choreography. Yes. Suddenly I feel so motivated. Maybe because of the power of encouragement. LOL. I don't know la. But I'm trying to get new skills now as well as build up my body la. Hard work. But I suddenly enjoy all the "torture". LOL. Not torture exactly la.

Stel passed me our book with total nonsense inside. But I tore it out and into bits. Well, nothing much to about it la. But felt really disgusted about what she wrote. She shouldn't have werote that la. Si Stella. YAY!! Tmr night Talent Quest in SPS! 7 pm. Hope to meet some old friends ar.

Tmr choir until 5pm. Kinda excited la. 'Cause Sunday's coming and then the next whole week is like a holiday. =P. But Monday got D&T Test! After the Nationa Day Celebrations.

I wanna work hard!

Walk on or hold on?

=D LOL. Stel's stupid fly like birdy post. LOL. MaDeNiWeeLiLi. Li Jia must be hating me for inventing these names =P. Okae. Was kinda high today =P. Then now very tired. And sleepy. But I feel sleepy everyday la. So... LoL. Okae fine. I'm bored. I feel as if my life is coloured since the June Hols. As if I'm flying everyday of course somedays I suffer from some kind of character loneliness. Bleah. Hehe.

Heh! I just luRve classicals.. LOL. Stel, your Richard Clayderman. Okae. I tried playing Ge Qian yesterday ar. But I gave up at the first bar. I think I should start from easier songs =P. Okae. Gonna work hard for my chorography from now on. Work on power moves and throwing skills. But I think power moves will come first la =D. Still waiting news from you, Sia!!

LOL. Another Demo coming up. Means training will combine for the moment. Okae la. I luRve trainings especially the ones with X-Jump! because I enjoy working with them. And I enjoy bringing enjoyable rope skipping shows to people with them. Seriously I really enjoy working with then alot more than..erm.. you know what. Ah well.

A glimmer in life.

A key to happiness.

Wings to soar.

A satisfied desire.

My Unprecedented Fairytale.

Sneak preview of "My Unprecedented Destiny" by Gladys & Stella. Not gonna come out soon =P.