Wtf's wrong with me? Instead of feeling relieved , like more relaxed or even more motivated, I was feeling more pressured. What's wrong? I don't know. Suddenly, I was there, on my bed, feeling so pressed up. I flinched at the thoughts of the World's. Truly, I'm very disppointed with myself. What the hack is wrong with my arms and my jumping?

"Don't wanna go, don't waste my time." he said. If I haven't wanted to go, why would I even waste my own time? I mean not that I was hard on that sentence or something. I'm just reflecting on myself. Why should I ever go if I know I won't be able to make it? Why waste my own time?

If I give up now, won't it be losing before I even compete? But I tried my best. No one can blame me if I can't make it WHEN I did my best. Now I'm having doubts if I'm even trying my best.

I believe, that no one can help me except for myself. Is that it? Why is life surrounded by frustrations? Why can't I lead a simple life? Why is it that there must be competition between individuals? Must we always compete to find out who's the best?

I believe, life is not about competing with others, but about competing with one self. Competing with your personal best. Everyone has mistaken it.

I feel so... broken. Years ago, I told bRo, "No one understands me." And true enough no one did. Not even myself. I always have to ask myself why I feel the way I feel. But over the time, I finally realised, that at most times, the mind wants to take over the heart and think for it or even lead the soul for it. Should that be the way things work?

Seriously, I'm always thinking about giving up. But my heart always kept me going. For I don't wanna be looked upon lightly.

I always let my mind take over me when I'm angry. I vent my frustrations on anyone. I go out of control. But after the whole thing, I regret doing those. "How could I ever have the heart to do that?".

Does it even matter? Does it even matter if I make it or not? Does it even matter if I make it big or not? I don't know. Does anything matter at the end?

Holding on? No. Letting nature take its course.