Hey... How I hate myself... Just went for practice for almost the whole day today...It's like my AP is getting worse and worse...I just can't stand it when they don't try hard enough to jump over the rope...Then what's the point of me, trying so hard, wasting so much energy, to just make sure I jump over the rope? It's so fuckin' idiotic to do that! I know some people are "slow" but that doesn't make it a reason to not struggle and try harder. They're just like so casual...and their attitude is like "mistake then let it be"...And now it's like just a few more days to competition? Argh! Damn frustrating...I know I might seem very bad but it's the truth. Maybe I will just work harder...for myself...and actually I was thinking that Roger might kick me out of the team for my AP... Of course I feel bad myself when I like get irritated and shout at them... They can also hate me if they want to...But I'm a "don't mess with me" person... I hate it especially when it's time to do serious things and they just "play and play all day long like nobody's business"... Of course I hate myself for what I do...but it's too hard...far too hard for me to control... I'll just flare up... That's me... No one can change that fact.
And this is what I owe you, Joel. Congrats to him that he has got promoted to "lance cop" or whatever the hell... and, he's a kind and caring person of course he's quite patient if not it's quite impossible to stay so long as friends with me... he's also e top consellour... erm... quite a responsible and capable boy... Does this sound like a testimonial already??
