Posting results of my papers [SA2] now. Seriously, I totally regretted studying AT ALL.
English: 41/70 [Paper 2]
Maths: 75/100
HCL: B3 [Total]
Science: 83/100
Geography: 75/100
Literature: 60/100
D&T: 69/100 [Paper Only]
Yep. That's all. I DO NOT wish to stay in ENDURANCE if every other person is not staying. I DO HOPE that I wouldn't stay. If I can in the first place.
I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER!!!
Think of me as selfish. Think of me as childish. I don't give a damn. I can't stand it anymore. Maybe it's my own imagination but I always feel as if she's trying to get even with me in every way. I feel so insecure with her around. Maybe it's because I know she hates me, maybe not anymore. But I can't help it. I'll automatically shut up when she's around. I don't know why! Maybe no one knows how it felt to me then. Because I have always been un-responsive? But is it my fault that your jokes don't entertain me? Is it my fault that what you say is not funny enough to make me laugh? Is it my fault that, I'm so much an inner person that sometimes even if you say things that meant to hurt me, that I'm not affected? I don't know. I just don't know.
What is the school teaching us?! To be Caring, to accept every Individual as they are, to Encourage other people.
Then why-tf is that particular 'soul' not what we're taught to be?! Is saying that we're splitting happily, not even considering our thoughts and feelings CARING?! Is telling us to compare our results when you know that it's somehow different, ACCEPTING EVERY INDIVIDUAL AS THEY ARE?! Is THAT ENCOURAGING TOO?!Seriously, I don't think so. It was so FRIGGIN' offensive and YOU didn't even THINK WITH YOUR BRAIN AT ALL and just said it. Don't YOU think that it can so FREAKINGLY HURT OTHER PEOPLE?! Do YOU even USE YOUR BRAIN AT ALL?! FCUK. DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND AT ALL?! IHATEYOUTOOIHATEYOUTOOIHATEYOUTOO!!! ARGH!
And YOU even have the guts to say it straight to me RIGHT IN FRONT OF my friend. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE?! STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID! And YOU acted like it was NO BIG DEAL. It might not be BIG to YOU. BUT IT IS TO ME! I HATE YOU. go away. and SHUT-TH UP.
I'm really worried now. I don't wanna be seperated from STEL! NO! I can't imagine life without her. So I'm saying it now. We have so many things in common that we click just so magically. I had forgotten how we got together so good. I just remembered her, chasing me into the classroom and as I sat down, I heard her from in front of the classroom. And my deepest impression was that she said "gla gla" so loudly in front of the class. And then we talked about lots of things. We can talk about almost everything. We can talk for 5 hours straight. We have same thoughts. We have mostly been through some same situations. Like our friend's parents thinking that we're bad influences just because we were given more freedom. We have just about the same amount of freedom. We have just about the craziest thoughts that can be compared with each other. We are almost inseperatable. We know that we don't need to be together physically to be great friends. And that I just luRve her.
I know being in different classes does not mean that we're not friends anymore. But we wouldn't be that close. And promises doesn't always work. Like what happened to wis? Maybe. Just maybe. No one knows or will know what's in this head of mine. Even me.
我就是太念旧。习惯的东西舍不得丢。
I want my STELLA! I want my XIAO DI! I want my JIA NI!
I realised that I needed someone who would listen to me. Be there for me. I guess. I guess... maybe... maybe the one I've been looking for isn't you. Maybe. It's really time for me to move on. But I did feel hurt when you... walked out on me? I don't know.
I luRve oneENDURANCE!! I luRve my STELLA!!! I don't WANNA BE STREAMED!!!
I don't mean to be MEAN. But there're just somethings I wish to say. LOL. Why must people stick around other people like. Erm... super glue? =x. Okae okae. I didn't mean everyone. I have someone in mind la. But it wouldn't be nice to mention it. It feels irritating to me la. Even though it wouldn't happen to me. Seriously, who would wanna stick around a semi-living creature like me for long, including the fact that I'm un-responsive and un-feeling?LOL.
I had came across this pointer again -- A person who truly cares for you will not support you in whatever you do. But whatever you do RIGHT.
I thought about it again. And I so much realised that I'm fortunate! Haha. I guess people like that just doesn't come by easily right? Hehe.
Fine I'm crapping. I've got nothing else to say. Shall just shut up.
I like you lots.
Back again here. Had been busy playing, busy celebrating and busy working.
Thanks for the discs ar. I'm so in luRve with Legend of Legaia. Sounds familiar? LOL. I'm so boyish. I know. But I just luRve RPGs, without bug or lizards or disgusting things. Haha. It's so fun la. But I feel as if I'm still studying. So busy. Playing as in of course the playstation la. Celebrating? Xiaodi's birthday party. He seemed so touched that it was as if he was going to cry!!! Hehe. Happy birthday, WENJUNJIE! Working as in the things for the concert lor. And still owe Jer his blogskin and haven't found cliparts for my Literature proj. Can you believe it?! Project after exams. Literature somemore. Don't even know what's the use of it.
Back to yesterday, went to CW with Stel after Xd's birthday party. Took nps. Unfortunately, I don't have a scanner la. So... haha. Then hung around at Mac until about 9++ and went to Fairprice. Home Sweet Home.
Ah well. Okae. Went for training at 10am today. Watched vids for this year's Asians and Nationals. Proud of the Sembawang girls and embarrassed while they playing the Asians la. LOL. Not really but I thought that was the FIRST experience afterall. Practice was okae la. Not much comments. Then after training went to the hawker nearby and ate congee. And bought drinks at Sweet Talk after that. Went for bball therafter. Had some fun la.
Happy Birthday CHOONKEAT!!!!!!!
Ahhhh!!! I need an answer!!!
Back!! Oh man. I'm so damned.
Choreography? Done.
Music? Done.
Rope? Checked.
[Nearly]Split?
Bowing? Checked.
Skills? Practised.
Smiles? Practised.
Confidence? 50%.
Fear? 30%.
Nervousnes? 10%.
Chances of stage fright? 50%
Chances of mistakes? 50%
Chances of ruining my reputation? 60%
Chances of dying after the performance? 100%.
LOL. I'm only kidding la. Seriously, I've got quite alot of confidence to do this well la. But I'm not sure if I'd be too nervous till I forget my choreography. And I must be kidding myself, telling Mrs Wong I'll plait my hair to school tomorrow. But come'on, plaiting the hair is better than wearing some head bands or wrist bands that hinders my movement right? And. I'm wearing tights. I must be crazy.
Haha. I feel so luRved today! LOL. Kidding. Tian Wei accompanied me to the general office with Mr Ang to get his portable radio which I wanted to lend. Then Mrs Wong was there, Mr Tan was going back to his seat too. And then while I waited outside of the HOD for Mr Ang, Mrs Wong came and talk to me. Discussed abit. Then suddenly Mr Tan came by and said I can perform it for the Miyazaki exchange farewell party. Then Mr Ang came out with he radio and contributed to the convo. saying, "I want her to conduct a SIA." Then Mrs Wong said something like, "Hey, don't drag her away from choir." LOL. Then Mr Ang said, "She was supposed to be in volleyball." LOL. I feel so wanted! Haha.
But sigh. I'm no wondergirl. I'm stressed!!!! Haha. A little la.
Yay! Got choir tee. Beautiful one! Hehe. I just luRve choir. Hopefully, I don't get any stage frights tomorrow. And I don't ruin my reputation. **Prays**. Hehe. Okae up till here! Going to bed!
Thanks, Jer for re-editing music for me. Sorry about your blogskin!
Missing your smile.
Didn't mean to post again.
=/ Tomorrow's the show le. Scared. Haiz.
Tired. Training 11am-5pm man. But it's not killing me. Because I luRve tough trainings. Rather than slacking ones. 'Cause go all the way till Tampines then don't jump is really a waste of my time la. Yay. I luRve tough trainings! LOL. I'm too desperate to get tired so that I'll have no more sleepless nights. No la. Kidding.
Went to Downtown East to see the stage. So damn small. I nearly fell off =(. Like I was standing there and turning the long rope then suddenly felt weird. The look underneath me. And Wl! I was standing half my feet in the air already! LOL. Scary sia. Hehe. Then the coach keeeeeeeeeep naaaaaaaaaging. Haiz. But I don't care la. More interested in the salary. Wonder how much it's gonna be this time. LOL.
LOL. We very jian. Me, Fion and Hazel wanna escape to The Escape instead of going training after the show. Haha. LOL. But it's crazy la. We're meeting at 6am at 7 eleven. Have to reach studio between 6.30-7. Millions of thank you-s to Hazel's father. If it's not for him driving us there, we would have to wake up earlier.
Played bball in the morning. Happy being awaken at about 7.15am. Was quite enthu. But when we reached there, some people who proposed this idea overslept. I tell you I was so so so so so so mad at her!!!!! Fuming! But at least she came afterall la. So I don't really bear grudges with her. Haha. But the other one who was supposed to be here, totally disppeared into thin air. Never answer her cell. No nothing. Fine. I don't care la. She's not been a very close friend anyway. Lurve wenxin!!!!!!
Got my job for the Friedrich project. Haha. Got so many can copy from my previous literature work. Hee. Easy job. I hope I can complete it la. =).
It's as if he's stepping into my life once again. I hope he doesn't disappear again. Because it really leaves me with no answer. It scares me. I wouldn't know where to head. And I hate not knowing where to go. At least it's gonna get better soon. I guess. I hope we can talk like we used to again. Maybe. Just maybe...
=). I simply luRve kbox-ing!! Hehe. Okae. Nice day yesterday.
Training was great as usual. Maybe isn't that great. But I'm in luRve with the sport what. What can I do? LOL. Did lots and lots of things there. I simply luRve tough trainings =)
Finally, after training, took 38 and 969 straight to Causeway. Met my sis and my cousin Sherry and then another cousin, Carina came =). Ate at Sakae. Hehe. Ate buffet. which is quite wasteful for me la. Didn't eat much 'cause had lots of drink after training. Kinda full. Then went to party world. Started singing. There was so many more songs there than in Kbox. But the controller was hard to use la. Figured for so long before I finally knew how to use it. Fun. Took a few pictures. Then kept singing and singing. The ice honey there is nice. It helps to maintain my vocal quality. Hehe. Okae. Then Carina has to leave early =(. LOL. Sad. Then spent a whole lot of money there and the cab fare too. Officially broke but worth it. =)
Pictures taken!
Sherry and Carina at Sakae.
Carina waiting to sing!!
My sis and I.
My sis and I again, singing this time =).
Starting to be self-obsessed again =x.
Sherry singing!
My sis and I [yet and] again.
Had a great great day. =).
There are so many things I wish to tell you, yet I can't.
Stuffed up.
Hey. See. I'm on a blogging spree again. Hehe.
Okae. Went for bball this morn. Practised my handstand la. Then I flipped the other side and sprained my elbow. Wtf. =(. Heng it was only a sprain lor. I still wanna skip and play piano! Haha.
Training today was hectic la. Especially when my elbow like that. Haiz. I never told my mom I skipped. So, shhh. Hee! Did lots of chinese wheel today. Did with Junxiang at first then did three ppl one and then four ppl one. Fun.
Then came back home and Stel came to do prep work for art. Cooked fried rice. My first time okae. Starting I was busy and blur LOL. I didn't know how to start! But after that it's okae. Then quite nice too. Then finally started on prep work at about 5++. Then finished at about 7++. Then played keyboard. And read new book. Then now here, blogging.
My pretty boy.
I know. I haven't been here for the longest time on Earth. But you can't blame me. My life is too colourful that I hardly have time to use the com! Hehe.
Hmm. Ever met someone who thinks that he is rich and can have or do everything he wants? I did. It was THAT one fateful day when I was going to meet Wx to get JL's present. There's this perv. always going to Beary. Or rather always trying to hook up with Wx. He kept wanting to follow us around man. Even when Wx asked him to go home first 'cause we'd be going to study and buy the present. He still wanted to tag along. Why doesn't he get the message? We DON'T WANT him there. We have lots to talk about. We need to talk. Properly. Not with some. Erm. shall not say it. And I was like "wtf". Was so pissed off lor. Think what. he got money then can buy my girl girl[as in Wx]'s time? Fat hope.
I AM a bad girl. I know. Stel. Just don't be too jealous of my third earhole. =X. I didn't say a thing. LOL. And you didn't see anything. And yes. She came to my house that day and then suddenly decided to go cut hair when she was about to go home. So, we went lor. Then layered hair lor.
Exams are quite okae la. Pray for good results. LOL. But I've been quite hardworking this time round la. Abit slack also. Then thank that someone whom have talked to me every night last week. LOL. Thanks ar. I needed it to calm me down. Haha. But eventually, it became a waste of money. Because I'm always listening to the "air"; "kong qi". Hehe. Okae la.
Now, I'm trying to get my choreography done for the Art's performance. Oh man. I have limited skills. Time to search for more. And talked to Yiyuan quite abit, exchanging advices on our vocals haha. Then yesterday tried the duet song, "So Far Away" nice. We tried others too. But that was the only song our voices blend nicely. Haha. Then he asked me to go for the audition for the concert in school for at the end of the year. Where he is the organzing comittee chairman. Hope we get loads of support. I designed the tix!!! YAY!! Haha.
Another show coming up next Sunday. Oh man. For NTUC. Fine. I luRve skipping. I would do anything to gain experience and stop myself from getting stage frights. Yes. I dread Stage frights. It'll stupidly make me forget all my skills. Nevertheless, I still luRve skipping. Still trying to perfect my cartwheels. I see muscles growing!! Thanks to bball!!
But nah. I don't luRve bball as much as I luRve skipping and singing. And playing piano I guess. Although it's fun. But ah, whatever. Okae. Finally, I need to really say that I was elated. To know that Junxiang's going for training tmr. He's not leaving the sport. I think it's great for him la. At least he doesn't waste what he has learnt. Wish him the best. =)
I'm gonna make things right.
Yep. Here again. Today is my first-ever-slackiest-near-exam day. Played bball in the morn and slept like a pig in the afternoon and then used the com for the evening and started on maths at about 8++. LOL. Managed to finished the two revision papers finally.
Yesterday Wis and JL came to my house. Wanted to do prep work. But instead became very lethargic and played lor. I was exceptional horny. Eww. Didn't mean it. EL paper was alright. I thought it was quite easy. Heh. But made lots of careless mistake la.
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