"you keep appearing before me. i kept putting you down. but i can't seem to let anything else be compared to you."

today was a tiring day. nearly fell asleep parts of the day. and DnT was hell. but i couldn't care. i was more engrossed in some other thoughts than that. =/. bad. bad distraction. but what to do? the cycle repeats each time. what's the use of having faith? what's the use of a little spark of hope that ends up in greater disappointment? i don't understand. not anymore. i did feel for you for who you are. even though i now learnt the nasty side of you.

i think i'm into this phase again. where one falls into a daze most of the day and then think about all the 'what if-s'. it isn't a good habit of course. but. i lost it all. i think i'm gonna lsoe my mind soon if i don't get a grip. =/. the faster i can get myself to remind myself constantly that he does not exist, the sooner i'll get over it. i believe. even though every single thing reminds me. even though it'll be painful to let it pass. (:

it's hard, to believe how dense one can be. why can't i convince myself that you're really one of them? why do i still choose to let you linger? why do i still think about how to be nice to you?