EDIT it was a nerve-wrecking experience. not to mention heartbreaking too. i don't know how deep is the hurt growing inside me. but i know it's hurting. i thought a piece of resentment was possible. yet it has struck me so unprepared. you boldy told me that you had no regrets. i wanted to laugh. but i couldn't. i was already being engulf by remorse. i was being sent back to hell while you got your desire scotfree. it isn't fair. i never imagined it this way. i am so disappointed in you.

i started it. so i shall end it. i shall stand by my decision and stay strong. i shall not shrink away because i had chosen it. and i will take it as it goes..

i have been superly energetic today maybe it's because of the coffee i had in the morning. not very wise. because i had been so d- energetic, i wasn't listening to whole day. restless. watched the japanese invasion thingy video. it was nice. but cruel. it was hard to imagine just for the war how many millions of people have to die, sacrifice their families and all. i think what i feel anyhow and anyway, can never be compared to the feelings the people felt during the war. the emperor of japan kept the truth of the large tendency of fighting a lost war. and the people believed him. i wouldn't mind being let down time and again if in the end resentment is felt. anyway i've always been believing in lies. so why should i stop?

alamak. sidetrack=x. okae. i will go on. oldcarebear said that i should always think that there are greats behind bad happenings and also darkness behind happy things. true. i have gotten something out of this.

i had learnt how beautiful and promising one can be and how ugly one can get.

reason for the edit being i am not the one suffering the most. i am not in the position to speak of anything.