i think it's one of the worst first days i've have. i think. it just feels weird to not see many familiar faces in class. and great news, i've kena-ed vicechair again. good luck to me. had been thinking, what if history repeats itself? i've made a point to note that i really have to change the way i treat people. but with this? i think it'd be very easy to blow my top? hmm.. maybe i should really try and embrace it. it had always been my life to take responsibility. just that i-so-luckily escaped last year.

sigh. being the worrywart, i really let things get into me too easily. and it's so weird, i haven't even started running the marathon and i'm fearing how i would do or what tomorrow brings. what the hell is wrong with me? since when did i become such a weakling? why am i feeling more emo more and more often. damn. and why am i fearing about growing up?

if i keep letting these stuff haunt me, i'd prolly start disappearing more often from school by three weeks. but then again. i'm not those laid back kind of person. i was kind of that way last year, but still, it's hard not to comment at stuffs that i don't like.

and peers. i admit i don't like to make friends and i keep brooding over spilt milk. so that makes me have the 'don't-talk-to-me-i'll-kill-you' mood. and my thoughts keep wondering. wild,very wildly.

it feels different, really different. and there's no precise way to explain how i feel because i feel that it's another phase of growing up. so now, i don't even know if i hate life. the feelings are just not there. or anywhere.

look at me, you idiot. do you really wanna go on like that?