almost everyone was drunken in the happy mood of the celebration. everyone except me, suddenly feeling the chill run down my spine. i felt all too cold to accept myself into the happiness. it felt weird. it felt as if i wasn't in their world. it felt that i was on my own and they were in theirs.

soon enough i'll look back at these silly things and still be able to laugh. i hope. it seemed that everything had changed. my friend doesn't trust me. oh, well. had he not trusted me in the past too? it looks the same but it wasn't. and i had felt in the wrong way for a moment. why was i feeling the situation for him? why had there been a tinge of grief?

happy birthday KELVIN TAN

i'll let you have the happiness and i'll keep the rest.

i don't even know what state i'm in now.